This is how we roll

It seems there is a little confusion over our new vehicle. "Does it transform?" people want to know. No, no... I just wanted to find something more interesting than the obligatory magazine cover shot.

So, to clarify:

1) It does not turn into a robot

2) It is black, not orange

3) It is an Audi A6

Note: There are no wet streets in Abu Dhabi.

Today we took 'er to the gym, and I have to say, it makes the whole experience a lot more pleasant. No more hunting down a cab to get there. No more waiting on notoriously cab-poor Al Saada Street for a cab to take us back home. And of course there are leather seats.

Anyway. As much as it hurts my soul to be part of the car problem here, having a car solves a lot of problems. And because Abu Dhabi is the land of a million daily annoyances, that goes a long way... and a longer way, now that we're not walking.

The importance of attending an event when covering it

The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix went off yesterday. No one was hurt, a German guy won the race, it was great weather and Aerosmith played their first Abu Dhabi show. All the local media, including my employer, covered it--the F-1 was perhaps the biggest event, and certainly the biggest sporting event, in the country's short history.

This is the Khaleej Times' version. See if you can spot a couple of obvious problems here.

DUBAI — At 5pm on Sunday as the sun began to sink shyly behind the mountains, the top stars of the world’s Formula One Race Circuit were ready for ignition, so they could set the pace at Abu Dhabi’s impressive Yas Marina Circuit. Spot on, as thousands watched, the F1 first ever day-night race was flagged off.

It is a magnificent obsession. It isn’t just the groupies and the fans and smell of gasoline and exhaust spiralling into the air, the brilliance of the pit teams as they pamper these metal monsters and the mighty roar of all that rampant horsepower that creates the ambience. It is the speed and the thrill, the sense of ‘being there’ at what is truly an international event that generates the pulsating excitement.

Note the dateline: Dubai. The race was in Abu Dhabi. Note the mention of mountains. There are mountains in the UAE, but they are several hundred miles away from the race (and Dubai, for that matter). I also suspect that gasoline fumes didn't waft all the way into the next emirate. Solid work.

Equally funny, at least to me, is that the Gulf News devoted a blog post to complaining that the media had to pay for their food, beverages and Internet connections.

There was a time when visiting sports journalists had described the facilities and hospitality in the UAE while covering international events as ‘Mother of all freebies’.

But things have changed over the years and the Media Centre at the Yas Marina Circuit did catch many by surprise.

Internet connections were charged at Dh275 for the weekends while phone connections are charged. Local scribes were not spared either and the larger chunk of scribes from the region will be in for the minor shock when they come in this morning. And for the first time in my 18 years in the UAE, media persons will also have to pay for their snacks and food!

A visiting motorsport-specialised reporter remarked, ‘Maybe they should have made it free for this inaugural edition.”

However an Abu Dhabi Motorsports Management official, in private said, “Well these charges are nothing compared to what journalists have to pay at media centres in other Formula One venues around the world!’

And when Bernie Ecclestone is involved, nothing comes for free!

Yes, not even two "light-hearted" exclamation points can conceal the irritation. But at least the reporter was actually at the track.

First, I tried the Hitler look

Last month, I kind of sort of promised a friend here that I would grow facial hair as part of a fundraiser to fight prostate cancer, Movember. The problem is that I already had facial hair. And the solution, well... it meant turning back the clock 17 years.

Yes. I have had my goatee since I was 16-ish. Anyone who has met me since high school has witnessed whiskers on my chin. Many of my dearest friends have literally never seen me clean-shaven.

And so it was with great trepidation that I picked up a razor.

What would my face look like? Would I appear older? Younger? Uglier? I tried to make it a bit of a game: Start with the edges of the mustache. Hmmm, no, the Hitler 'stache does not become me. (and I suspect he kind of ruined that look for everyone, forever) Next came no mustache, goatee only. That wasn't bad, but my upper lip looked pale and lonely. Finally I got down to just the soul patch, decided I looked like a jerk, and took it all off.

The result was... this.

The new intern at The National. He never smiles.

I have gotten reactions ranging from "Oh, my God!" to "You are never allowed to shave that again" to "Hey, mate"--the last coming from a guy who knows me but clearly had no idea who I was post-shave. (to be fair, I had just gotten a haircut too)

Personally, I think I look OK but would have trouble buying alcohol without ID back in the States. Don't worry, though... stubble is already taking root.

Vroom

And so it was that yesterday--Happy Halloween, by the way--Mrs. Blog and I headed to the race track for the inaugural Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

Our first impression: It seemed kind of unfinished. Lots of roads to nowhere, gravel instead of sidewalk and newly planted vegetation. But our shuttle bus dropped us off exactly where we needed to go, and we headed inside.

Our second impression: F-1 cars are LOUD. And high-pitched. A knowledgeable co-worker told me the engines run at about 18,000 rpm, which is ridiculous. And loud. Did I mention loud? Fortunately they handed out earplugs at the door.

We were close to the track, but not this close.

But despite the brutal power of the F-1 cars, impressive enough in its own right, I guess, the qualifying laps, Saturday's main event, just weren't that interesting. Probably because we had very little clue what was going on. An example: At the end of the last qualifying round, a car crossed the finish line and the stands erupted in cheers. Mrs. Blog and I looked at each other. Shrugged. And later learned that the pole had just been won in some extremely cunning fashion. Okeydoke.

The undercard race, a bunch of souped-up Porsche 911s, was much more interesting. And since our seats in the South Grandstand were right at the end of a long straightaway, we got to witness some jostling for position and spinning out. Good times.

Actual racing.

Outside of the cars going fast--and the beautiful company and weather--I have to say that I was underwhelmed by the track experience. The food wasn't great, but whatever... it's stadium food. Beer, though, you could only drink in the beer tent. Not in the stands. And there was a line several hours long to get into the aforementioned tent. And although there were volunteers all over the place, the operation wasn't very organized.

This was most evident after the post-race Kings of Leon show (which was great, and pictures of which I will post as soon as I have them in hand). There was a massive herd of buses waiting to take people away from Ferrari World, where the concert was staged.

But the vast majority of the buses, at least when we came out, were empty and not moving because they were lined up in a single-lane parking area. The buses we needed to get on were all the way back by where we had entered the track--maybe a mile from the concert venue--so we shrugged and instead of waiting on a bus for an hour we went to a nearby hotel for a cocktail.

And then, after paying a stranger to cart seven expats to Abu Dhabi in his shiny new Tahoe, we retired. Today we will watch the actual race on TV.  And tomorrow Abu Dhabi will return to normal.

Or maybe after tomorrow.

Transportation stories

LEAD: I was on TV here yesterday, talking about--of all things--yacht racing. "Are you an expert on yacht racing?" an expert on me asked. The answer is "kind of."

Mostly because I found myself in the middle of coverage of how a lawsuit filed in the U.S. by the San Francisco yacht club challenging for the America's Cup more or less eliminated the UAE as a venue for the race next year. Kind of a bummer. Although I haven't had a ton of luck sailing boats myself, I was excited about seeing someone else do it. So much for that. But at least I got some air time.

DOWNPAGE: We have wheels. Four of them, specifically. Our car looks like this:

Except it's black and doesn't unfold.

BRIEF w/pix: The Ares I-X test launch went flawlessly. Check it out:

 

Big rocket did, in fact, go whoosh.

So that's the news. This weekend, we are headed to Yas Island to watch more vehicles: Specifically  the built-for-blinding-speed Formula One cars. After all these months of run-up, I'm curious to see if these wheeled cheetahs are any fun to see up close.

Bummer

The Ares I-X launcher--designed to be the first new manned rocket since the Space Shuttle took wing back in the 70s--did not go whoosh today. High winds and minor technical difficulties mean it will be on the ground at least another 24 hours.

It's not outwardly unusual, this rocket, but it is momentous beast because it marks another step (jump?) into space by mankind. Before I am 40, it will have tossed an astronaut into orbit. And before I am 50, it will have helped another crew land on the moon.

It's pretty in the air, too.

So. Let's hope that when the big, red button finally does get pushed, all systems are go. Remember, even the Saturn V started with a test launch.

March seems right around the corner

There are college basketball games on TV just about every day here. Sure, they are a year or two old and randomly chosen from conferences I don't care about. Yeah, it's not like I have much time to watch TV during the day anyway.

Fortunately, the real thing is just around the corner.




I realize that, like many things I post here, admitting that the above video makes me excited about watching basketball qualifies me solidly as a dork. But that's OK. As long as I'm a dork who can watch the games live on the Internet.